The Book, Understanding God’s Blue Print for Marriage, is a compendium of scholarly erudition, albeit from a religious perspective, on the subject of marriage, a social institution celebrated by humanity and ordained by God, as evidenced by the epochal wedding in Canaan of Galilee, where Jesus performed His first recorded miracle of turning water into wine. The sound scriptural knowledge of the author is brought to bear on the interesting diversity with which the subject of marriage is unbundled and explained in the simplest of language, taking cognizance of the need to communicate in a manner that any one barely literate in spoken and written English, could digest and make sense of the book.
Understanding God’s Blue Print for Marriage, is a 232-page book, carefully and thematically broken into 13 Chapters, each addressing diverse but complimentary issues central to the theme of marriage such as foundation for nuptial relationship; new covenant doctrine on marriage; the husband’s role responsibilities; the wife’s role in marriage; developing a committed and intimate relationship; the parents’ role in child training and discipline and spiritual life in the home. Other refreshing subthemes laced with supportive excerpts from the Bible include good household interaction; relationship among household; setting distinctive dependence and goals; problems in marriage; resolving tough nuptial problems and how to conquer fear.
In the Introduction, the author narrated the sad episode of a wedding he attended, which was terminated almost immediately after it was consummated with the bride telling the groom after the wedding reception, that it was all over between them. He also recounted another ugly encounter, where the bride and groom parted ways barely one month after tying the nuptial knots on account of incompatibility. The two episodes, literally provided the author the launch pad to “write down something to save the situation in which the married and unmarried are passing through…” thus giving birth to this beautiful book.
From the introduction, it is apparent that the suspense-filled book Understanding God’s Blue Print for Marriage, will make an interesting read.
Chapter One (1)
Titled Foundation for Nuptial Relationship, this chapter takes the reader through the entire gamut of God’s basis for marriage as found in His work of creation, detailing such necessities as suitable companionship, devoid of same sex marriage which the author rightly describes as useless and senseless both to God and humanity as well as the place of trust and nuptial covenant.
Chapter two (2)
Chapter two is arranged to broaden the readers’ knowledge about new covenant doctrine on marriage, which encapsulates God’s notion of families, marriage as a necessary choice, the place of love, the eternity of marriage as a life-long relationship as well as the uniqueness of nuptial commitments. Also in this chapter, the author, quoting relevant Bible excerpts, argued that polygamy as a form of marriage, is ‘not God’s plan’ for humanity.
Chapter three (3)
This chapter dwells on the husband’s responsibilities in marriage, part of which is to give direction, provide leadership and nurture the home with the necessary spiritual strength, in accordance with God’s expectation. The chapter prescribes the spiritual requirements for a good husband to include but not limited to Christ-like headship, love of spouse and good nurturance for the children and the entire family.
Chapter four (4)
As a corollary, this chapter compliments chapter three with a potpourri of what the wife’s roles should be in a Christian marriage. These include the virtues of submissiveness, home keeping, and respectability. Given the centrality of the place of a woman as a home manager, the author cautions that any man who does not identify his wife’s role has failed God and himself.
Chapter five (5)
In this chapter, the author took the reader through the rudiments of developing a committed and intimate relationship, noting that God wants marriage to be a person’s closest and most important relationship. He noted that since marriage was not always a bed of roses, it would be expected that there would be nuptial problems, the solution which lies in nuptial oneness.
Chapter six (6)
Taking off from the premise of the popular cliché that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child, this chapter, which underscores the parents’ role in child training and discipline, admonishes parents to discipline their children and teach them biblical truths. He noted that discipline founded on biblical truth is a sine qua non for healthy parent-child relationship.
Chapter seven (7)
Using a biblical binocular in interrogating the issue of spiritual life in the home, the author avers that scripture makes it clear that the spiritual health and growth of all family members is significant and parents are to be seen as team teachers by setting good examples for their children. In our present era where moral decadence has taken the centre stage, the author advocates that parents should become the moral compass for nurturing God-fearing children.
Chapter eight (8)
This chapter deals with a very important aspect of family life, which is, good household interaction. Drawing from the premise that most homes have been ruined because of poor or outright lack of communication between and among family members, the chapter prescribes constant and healthy communication between spouses and other family members.
Chapter nine (9)
Related to the issue of household interaction is the second leg of the matter: relationship among household, which is the focus of chapter nine. Being a social animal, man needs bonding together and this makes more sense when household members spend quality time together.
Chapter ten (10)
While previous chapters harped more on immediate family issues, chapter ten, sheds light on setting distinctive dependence and goals, the crux of which deals with money as a disposal resource. The author noted that money matters are either near or top the list of causes of marriage failures. Given the primacy of money as a means of exchange, the author advises against being slaves to the quest for money and advocates relying on God through prayer. He advises couples to set realistic goals to avoid money-induced conflict in the home
Chapter eleven (11)
This chapter treats the issue of “problems in marriage” under such headings as the unequal yoke; biblical view of unfaithfulness; unbiblical views of children and God’s view of divorce. The author deployed his good knowledge of scripture to discuss the issues in a very illuminating manner.
Chapter twelve (12)
A rehearsal of previous issues related to marriage and household problems, this chapter tagged resolving tough nuptial problems, draws inspiration from the Apostle Paul in explaining matters related to sexual affection, divorce: a safety valve, blessing for the spouse and household, basic rules for Christian living, sexual depravity and causes of sexual depravity, etc.
Chapter thirteen (13)
The book closes with a very interesting chapter on “How to conquer anger”. It sees anger as a very destructive vice. The author rightly noted that anger brings danger, pushes people to commit suicide as well as being the reason why some persons take to divorce. He noted that while anger may be inevitable, people should learn to tame their anger or hand it over to God.
Conclusion
As I conclude, I make bold to say that this book is a collector’s item and a must have, for everyone- the old, the not-too-old, and especially, our youth, on whose shoulder lies the arduous responsibility of replenishing the world through socially approved marriages, when our time as elders is up.
I commend the author for a job well-done.
Mr. Joseph Edegbo JP
(Book Reviewer)