By John Danfulani, Ph.D
No doubt he is a certified comedian.He can even make a life in the Hollywood world of great comedians. I don’t doubt this, at all. Eddie Murphy and Bill Cosby are lucky for not getting him as a rival, else, they wouldn’t have gotten a ventilating space to showcase their sagacity . Onset,he keeps cracking my ribs with palatable cum unpalatable comicalities.From 29th May 2015,no single day melted away without him staging one form of comicality.
Hear one of his jokes, ” my state civil servants payrolls are saturated with ghost workers.I shall cleanse the vouchers via my commissioned experts”.Off he zoomed on one of the country’s longest staff verification exercises.Because he is a verification addict, he is today verifying food vendors he engaged to supply food to primary schools and streets cleaners he engaged. Pretty soon,he might start verifying his commissioners, special advisers, special assistants,and technical assistants.Verification is a major policy thrust of his administration and its biggest project since 29th May 2016. You can call his government; government of verification, by verification and for verification.
The C-in-C of comedians in the 1914 Lugadian contraption in October 2015 rumbled, “if you don’t accept my version of the truth, go climb Kufena Mountain and fall”.In March of 2016 he went bombastically dictatorial in this fashion, ” don’t have anything to do with PDP members in your LGA’s because they are viruses”. In June 2016 he went ignorantly lethalistic by labeling opponents ants I will kill and crush. If my Governor isn’t a comedian he wouldn’t give such a marching order, or passed such a judgement, or display his resolved on opponents in a democracy. He must have metamorphosed from an accidental democrat and governor to an astute comedian, right? Sure!
Sometimes in 2015 Mr. Comedian said “I will run a slimmer and effective government. By this, am cutting down the workforce, ministries and parastatals”. After a while, KASTELEA, KADGIES, KADEMA etc came up. And doing the same work ministries, departments and parastatals were doing. You know what? You are free to call his government; government of duplication, by duplication and for duplication. Above all, grab an appointment letter of any of the “KASTELEA soldiers” and see whether you will notice any grade level or steps in it. A good paragon of 4**9, period.
Our comedian in town assured, “I will not spend government money on any religious matter or function. No more government sponsoring of Hajj and Jerusalem.No more free feeding in the Holy month of Ramadan”.A year later, he is personally feeding hundreds of thousand of people in tandem with friends. Recently his government placed an advert to build a Gold Ore Centre with a worship centre( intending using government money to build a worship centre). Only a comedian can act like this. No man worth his salt will be eating his words without minding its consequence on his reputation.
My dear comedian announced that, “from today henceforth, Kaduna State is no man’s land”. Only a chronic comedian can make such a declaration in a federation of 36 states. Saying so, made him a star in their comedy world. This announcement earned him the best all-rounder in 2015 national academic of comedy and allied matters in Nigeria. People thought their 11th April 2015 decision was right but its like they got it wrong. They unknowingly elected a comedian instead of a leader.
Unfortunately for us, some of his comedies lacked comic reliefs values concomitant with comedies.They were nauseating, horrific ,and sorrowful. Some of his comedies were inimical to logic, commonsense and history. We gave a mandate to see real change and transformation, nothing more or less.
Enough of these comedies, please.
Dr. Danfulani can be reached through his email: johndanfulani@gmail.com
