By Shola-Adido Oladotun
Most young ladies desire to one day walk down the aisle dressed in a bridal gown, stare into the eyes of the man she loves, and exchange marital vows.
While this dream becomes a reality for most Nigerian women, for others, it might take almost a lifetime.
One of the reasons women marry late, especially those in romantic relationships, is the inability of a man to pop the big question, “Will you marry me?”
A painful experience being faced by ladies is dating a guy for over two years with the goal of marriage, only to have him express zero interest, either through words or actions, in settling down with them.
This often creates confusion as they begin to worry if the guy is ever going to propose to them.
To provide clarity on where you stand on the marriage scale with your current or future boyfriend, here are seven ways to tell if a man is going to marry you.
1. Uses the term “your husband”
If you notice, during a serious conversation or an argument with your boyfriend, he says the words, “your husband,” he has no intention of marrying you.
A good example is when you mention giving birth to seven kids, and he says, “Wouldn’t that be too much for your husband?”
2. He hasn’t introduced you to his family
Want to know a secret? A guy who hopes to marry a girl would happily introduce her to his family members. Though he might not introduce her to his parents or older relatives, he would not have any trouble making his girlfriend and siblings acquainted.
So, if you have been dating a guy for a long time and you don’t know any of his siblings, cousins, or parents, it’s a sign that he is not as serious about the relationship as you thought.
3. Zero PDA
Ever heard the saying, “Flaunt it as you love it”? This is how your boyfriend should treat you anytime you are outside. Your boyfriend should be able to publicly display his affection for you. This might come in the form of mild kisses, pet names, and hugs.
The message PDA (public display of affection) passes across is that you are taken by someone who truly cares about you and is not shy about showing you to the world.
4. The absence of a plan
Plans are everything, and if your boyfriend does not share his with you, something is wrong.
Relationships work best when there is communication between both parties. If you are with a guy who is uninterested in discussing his plans or not keen on listening to you, map out the rest of your life, it is time to reconsider your position in his life.
Dating someone who refuses to talk about his plans with you in his way translates to that person not considering you worthy enough to know his aspirations.
5. Has a negative attitude towards marriage
There are guys out there who do not believe in marriage. If you are dating a guy who makes fun of weddings, mocks married couples, or dismisses you anytime you talk about weddings, know that your wedding bells are not ringing soon.
Now, take note, this doesn’t necessarily mean he is not serious about you. Sometimes, it’s probably due to a negative experience or a family issue that made him view marriage in a negative light.
6. Disrespects you
Disrespect in this context implies flirting with other women in front of you. Flirting with other women in front of you is a big red flag, not only because it shows your boyfriend does not want to marry you, but because he is a player.
Marriage is all about commitment, which is built from the relationship. So, if he is not committed to the temporary courtship, what gives you the impression that he would be happy to settle for life?
7. No hints
Men are predictable. You can tell when they are happy, sad, or indifferent based on their emotions and actions. The same thing applies to marriage intentions.
If a man wishes to marry, he makes his intention known from the onset that he is looking for a long-term relationship.
In addition, if he is not curious to know everything about you, then you might just be chasing a husband’s clout.
A helpful note
What should you do if you notice these red flags in your boyfriend? Simple; you talk about it.
As mentioned earlier, communication is key in every relationship. Call your boyfriend, and openly express your intention to get married to him soon.
The worst that can happen is he would say he does not feel the same way. But at least, you would know what direction the relationship is heading towards.
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